


The Decisions We Make

by orphan_account



Category: Gravitation
Genre: Angst, Depression, Gen, Love, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-06 23:01:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1875768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The memories eat away at me, always there but just out of reach.  The nightmares plague me, and in turn, Shuichi becomes concerned of my well-being. I'm constantly brushing him off brush him off. I need to keep what innocence he has left. He can't be tainted. I can’t let Yuki Kitazawa continue like this, even after he is dead.... deceiving people and spinning them in his web."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Decisions We Make

The memories eat away at me, always there but just out of reach. The nightmares plague me, and in turn, Shuichi becomes concerned of my well-being. I'm constantly brushing him off brush him off. I need to keep what innocence he has left. He can't be tainted. I can’t let Yuki Kitazawa continue like this, even after he is dead.... deceiving people and spinning them in his web.

I’m pitiful. I don’t understand why anyone, let alone someone like Shuichi would want to share my presence. Isn’t he disgusted of me? I’m worthless, and I’m going to drag him down into my darkness with me if he doesn’t run.

I wake up with a loud gasp, drenched in sweat. This is what I get for not taking my pills today. I can’t continue like this, it has to end now. This is the easiest way. I crawl out of bed and make my way to the closet. As I open the worn door, it creaks, but Shuichi doesn’t wake. I carelessly shuffle through the pile of clothes until I reach the back of the closet. I lift a small wooden box with ornate carvings on it and kneel down, placing it on the floor. The lid clicks open and I find what I’m looking for. It’s a small handgun, but it will do the job. I lift it out and slowly place it to my head. 

 

I don’t notice the presence behind me until a hand touches my shoulder. “Are you really going to do this?” a familiar small voice whispers, his tone streaked with pain. I lower the gun slightly, and turn to face Shuichi. “Will you hate me for it?” I question as I stare into his amethyst eyes, filled with sorrow but understanding. “You know I could never hate you Yuki, but I don’t think I could live without you… you’re so important to me…” Shuichi confessed as he knelt beside me, holding my free hand. It was only then that I realized how important I was to Shuichi. Even though he didn’t say it, I knew deep down that he wouldn’t forgive me if I killed myself. “But who is more important, him or you?” a voice announces in my head, making me ponder the answer. Who was more important, me or him? The moment I saw his stupid pink hair in the park that night, I knew he would make a difference in my life, that he would change everything. From his clumsiness to his outright boisterousness, he was one of a kind. I couldn’t just abandon him, could I? 

Shuichi stares into my eyes, waiting for me to make my decision. As I let out a sigh and stand up, I throw the gun back into the box, close the lid and placed it back into the closet. Shuichi exhaled and threw himself into my arms, as we stood in the dark room, only illuminated by the sparse cars and streetlights outside. I patted his head as I let another shaky sigh out. This was the right decision, I thought, as we walked to the bed and lay beside one another. I could never leave Shuichi, and he could never leave me. I let out a breathy laugh as I thought how cliché my thoughts were. But among them, they held a truth. I really did love Shuichi, and I couldn’t have thanked Fate enough for our meeting. I hug Shuichi as I mentally thank him so all he has done for me, as I close my eyes and let sleep embrace me.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. I do apologize if there are errors. This was my first story to write so I apologize if it is subpar. I hope you enjoyed the story.


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